During the tween years, your child inches closer every day to being a full-fledged teenager. Fortunately, all of the changes that go along with the teen years happen slowly, giving you time to prepare.
Typically, 12-year-olds have moments of both acting like the child you have always known and suddenly turning into a little adult right in front of you. Discover how to be prepared for the physical, emotional, social, and cognitive development that happens at this time.
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12-Year-Old Language and Cognitive Milestones
A 12-year-old’s brain may have stopped growing in size, but it’s nowhere near done developing. Abstract thinking, problem-solving, and logic are all becoming easier. “They show improvement in reasoning and information processing as they continue to mature,” says Chris Cardona-Correa, MD, an adolescent medicine fellow at the University of Minnesota. “The young adolescent may demonstrate the capacity for long-range planning, and the ability to consider other points of view and feelings, and this capacity continues to develop as they grow older."
However, the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that plays a role in impulse control and organizational skills, is still maturing. So don’t be surprised if your 12-year-old engages in some potentially impulsive behavior.
By 12, most children have a strong command of language and communication skills. They are able to think beyond literal interpretations, and proverbs and idioms won’t fly over their heads anymore. You will probably get your first taste of sarcasm and slang, and they will understand tone, as well as the actual language, in a conversation, says Jen Trachtenberg, MD, a board-certified pediatrician and parenting expert from New York.
Language and Cognitive Checklist
- Begins a shift from concrete thinking to abstract
- Understands and applies logic to situations and problems
- Becomes aware of the concepts of justice and equality
- Starts to understand cause-and-effect sequences
12-Year-Old Physical Development
Age 12 is the middle year for when girls typically begin puberty. It's alsoright at the beginning of the typical age that boys start going through the process as well. However, exactly when puberty begins depends on genetics, sex, and a range of environmental factors.
“Early adolescence is a time of many physical changes,” explains Dr. Cardona-Correa. “At age 12, many adolescents are beginning to show signs of puberty—new smells, hair growth in new places, acne, growth spurts.”
In girls, you will notice breast development, hair growth, and finally the start ofmenstruation. In boys,pubertybegins with the penis and testicles getting bigger, then hair growth in the pubic area and underarms, and then facial hair growth, muscle growth, and then voice deepening.
While these changes are physical, they can have psychological impacts on your 12-year-old, too. “For many adolescents, these changes can be stressful or uncomfortable,” explains Dr. Cardona-Correa. “The physical changes the early adolescent experiences often create a stage of self-focus that itself may lead to concerns and psychological distress.”
You can support your child through their transition into adolescence by helping them know what to expect and reassuring them about the process. If you haven’t already, now is the time to initiate open conversations surrounding the normal physical changes they will encounter.
Physical Milestones Checklist
- Begins to show signs of puberty, including menstruation in girls and muscular development in boys
- Becomes increasingly skilled in sports
- Goes through a growth spurt
When Should Puberty Start in Girls and Boys?
12-Year-Old Emotional and Social Milestones
Teenage emotions are no joke, and you will probably get a taste of the wild ride over the next year. Twelve-year-olds love their parents but want nothing to do with them, and friends become more important than ever.
“As early adolescents are beginning to separate from family, the adolescent will be more dependent on peer groups for support,” says Dr. Cardona-Correa. “Peer groups are usually associated with strong solitary friendships with the same sex that at times can seem intense.” While same-sex friendships are important, your 12-year-old may also be interested in developing contact with the opposite sex, too.
Around now, your child will begin to explore their sense of personal identity. “[They will begin] exploring topics of interest more in-depth [and have] a more heightened level of self-consciousness, becoming more independent and seeking their own solutions rather than asking adult assistance,” says Dr. Trachtenberg. However, it is still important for them to feel like they belong. This often means finding independence from parents and other family members, but with that comes the risk of peer pressure.
Your child will also start to find their leadership skills and begin to understand the idea of giving back to the community. Encourage these skills by letting them take part in decision-making processes in the home and supporting involvement in community or school activities.
Emotional and Social Checklist
- Starts to show a rebellious streak
- Emotions frequently ricochet between happiness and sadness
- Begins to question family values and develop personal morals
- Shows concerns about being liked and accepted
- Fluctuating self-esteem
Shaving Tips for Tweens and Teens
Other Milestones for Your 12-Year-Old
Many 12-year-olds begin exploring the morals of their peer group. Don't be surprised if your 12-year-old announces they want to adopt a new lifestyle so they can live like their friend's family or that they want to explore a new religion.
Exploring morality is a normal part of the development process. While it's important to explain your morals and establish rules that promote morality in your household, don't worry too much when your child says they don't agree with your beliefs. It's all a part of them developing their own identity.
How to Help Your 12-Year-Old Learn and Grow
It's natural to feel as though your preteen is pulling away from you. However, showing an interest in their friendships, hobbies, and opinions will help you stay connected throughout their transition into adolescence and beyond. "Be present," advises Dr. Trachtenberg. "Have them invite friends to your house, and let them express their individuality without comment or shaming [and] be supportive."
A close connection with your tween will make it easier to tackle any difficult conversations that may come up, such as their growing sexuality. This isn't the time to turn a blind eye, so talk to your child's healthcare provider if you need advice on how to broach the subject of sexuality with your child. "Talk about difficult and often tough topics [frequently]" adds Dr. Cardona-Correa.
Additionally, school may become increasingly challenging for your 12-year-old. Stay in contact with your child’s teachers—without becoming a nuisance—and remain active in their academic life. Don’t wait until the report card comes home with a bad grade to ensure that your pre-teen is performing well academically. If there are academic issues, find the root cause rather than get upset, as it could be anything from an eye problem to a learning disability.
Not only do you want to support your child academically, but also by providing a safe and loving family environment. "Home family routines and family time [are] important," says Dr. Trachtenberg. Create a supportive environment at home while maintaining house rules and responsibilities. Your 12-year-old will likely resent any boundaries you attempt to lay down, so be prepared for push-back. "Be a parent and not a pal," advises Dr. Cardona-Correa. "But choose your battles carefully."
Healthy lifestyle habits continue to be important to your children, such as nutrition, exercise, and sleep. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends eight to 10 hours of sleep for a 12-year-old, so now isn't the time to ditch their bedtime routine. Set clear boundaries for any electronic devices they use and encourage your tween to stay active, even if they’re not into organized sports. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends 60 minutes or more of physical activity per day for tweens.
The Importance of Chores for Kids
How to Keep Your 12-Year-Old Safe
Safety goes beyond just the physical at this age. Keep the communication channels open and available to your 12-year-old. Your child is establishing their independence, but that could result in them experiencing situations that they're not ready for or don't know how to deal with. That includes all that goes along with peer pressure and growing up. Let them know that they can always talk to you.
"Communication is key," says Dr. Trachtenberg. "Ask open-ended questions [and] listen, don't just offer advice." Even though your tween is establishing their independence, they still need to know that their parents are available for support. Talk frequently about the things your 12-year-old would like to be able to do on their own and continually make compromises when it feels appropriate.
At 12-years-old, your child may feel uncomfortable or self-conscious about their changing body. While this is common, keep a close eye on any changes in their eating patterns or any signs that they feel negative about their appearance. Eating disorders are common among this age group, so it's important to check in with how your child is feeling.
Of course, screen time continues to be something to monitor during the tween years. Stay in the loop on how much time your 12-year-old is spending on their electronic devices, as well as install parental controls to ensure they only have access to age-appropriate material.
While most tech companies require a minimum age of 13 for users, your child will likely have already broached the topic of social media with you. As well as adhering to company guidelines, other ways to help keep your child safe on social media include setting clear limitations and helping them navigate it in a positive way. But proceed with caution: Once your child has their own social media account, they are then at risk of cyberbullying.
Why Tween Social Media Use Impacts Well-Being Later
When to Be Concerned
Physical and emotional development don’t always go hand-in-hand when a child is becoming a teenager. Don’t be concerned if your child doesn’t seem emotionally ready for activities that others their age are doing, or vice versa.
"The developmental milestones of adolescence can vary somewhat from person to person," says Dr. Cardona-Correa. "I recommend to parents, whenever there seems to be a concern about behavior or development, to always remember to keep the lines of communication open between you and your adolescent."
That includes staying closely aligned with your tween’s emotional state of mind. Mental health issues, such as depression, can pop up at this time, so it's important to keep an eye out for any warning signs.
"Moodiness is normal, but look out for anxiety, depression, a change in eating [patterns], any sleep issues or isolation from friends," advises Dr. Trachtenberg. Other potentially concerning behavior includes no longer enjoying or refusing to participate in activities they previously enjoyed, sudden rage, or angry outbursts. Any concerns about your 12-year-old’s health or mental well-being should be discussed with a pediatrician or mental health provider.
If you have concerns about a tween’s academic life, such as their inability to keep up in class, schedule an appointment with their teacher. They often have resources to help you and may be able to offer insight that you might not have considered.
A Word From Verywell
Twelve years old is the time to make sure your child has the skills they need to thrive during their teenage years. If they lack social skills, their struggles may become especially problematic when they enter high school.
Proactively look for areas where your child may need some help sharpening their skills. Provide extra support by teaching, guiding, and practicing together. If your support isn’t having an impact, consider seeking professional help.
Tween Parenting Tips (10-, 11-, and 12-Year-Olds)
FAQs
What milestones should a 12 year old have? ›
...
Thinking and Learning
- Have more ability for complex thought.
- Be better able to express feelings through talking.
- Develop a stronger sense of right and wrong.
Formal Operational Stage
Adolescents who reach this fourth stage of intellectual development -- usually at age 11-plus -- are able to use symbols related to abstract concepts, such as algebra and science. They can think about things in systematic ways, come up with theories, and consider possibilities.
- Enjoys many activities and stays busy.
- Likes to paint and draw.
- May lose first tooth.
- Vision is as sharp as an adult's vision.
- Practices skills in order to become better.
- Jumps rope.
- Rides a bike.
Developmental Tasks
Children ages 11 - 12 begin to wave good-bye to childhood and hello to their pre-teen years. These tweens feel more confident learning and applying skills, maintaining self-control, and dealing with peer competition. They also come to accept the rapid changes puberty brings to their bodies.
They are not teenagers yet and not exactly children anymore. Girls at the age of 12 years are usually polite to their parents and enjoy a close relationship with both parents. There may be occasional mood swings and they may tend to be aggressive, moody and downright rude when they turn 12 years old.
What activities should a 12 year old be doing? ›- Make a comic book. Save. Creative writing requires imagination. ...
- Do a DIY project. Save. ...
- Learn to code. Save. ...
- Learn a new language. Save. ...
- Play a board game. Save. ...
- Solve puzzles. Save. ...
- Play card games. Save. ...
- Plan a Google Maps adventure. Save.
At this stage, children typically:
Develop critical and abstract thinking skills. Develop their own games with complicated rules. Become skilled in reading, writing and use of oral language. Begin to express creative skills through writing, acting, inventing and designing.
Wellness and Fitness Milestones. Kids at this age need physical activity to build strength, coordination, and confidence — and to lay the groundwork for a healthy lifestyle. They're also gaining more control over how active they are. Kids who enjoy sports and exercise tend to stay active throughout their lives.
What is special about turning 12? ›A child's 12th birthday is the halfway point in their journey to being an adult. Most of their childhood is behind them and they're on the brink of being a teenager. For many kids the physical changes of adolescence are well underway too. They're getting taller and their appearance is changing.
What is cognitive development 6 12 years old? ›Children ages 6 to 12, usually think in concrete ways (concrete operations). This can include things like how to combine, separate, order, and transform objects and actions. Adolescence marks the beginning development of more complex thinking processes (also called formal logical operations).
What can I expect from a 12 year old boy? ›
Your 12-year-old boy will develop an increasing ability to use logic. He can handle more complex thinking now. His communication skills improve, which you can notice more when he communicates with others. He begins questioning things such as family values and can tell the difference between right and wrong.
What stage of development is age from 12 to 18 years? ›The teenage years are also called adolescence. Adolescence is a time for growth spurts and puberty changes. An adolescent may grow several inches in several months followed by a period of very slow growth, then have another growth spurt.
What is physical development 9 12 years old? ›Physical development
Most young people ages nine to 12 will: Experience a growth spurt with significant weight gain, muscle growth, and genital maturation (Growth spurt begins earlier for girls; lasts longer for boys, who end up taller).
Emotional/Social Changes
Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex. Experience more peer pressure. Become more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches.
Early adolescence (ages 10 to 13). Michigan State University Extension. 12- to 14-year-olds: Ages and stages of youth development.
What happens at a 12-year-old physical? ›The doctor or nurse will also check your child's body.
Measure height and weight and figure out your child's body mass index (BMI) Check your child's blood pressure. Check your child's vision and hearing. Check your child's body parts (this is called a physical exam)
| Age | Height - Females | Weight - Males |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | 50 to 59 inches | 54 to 102 pounds |
| 12 | 55 to 64 inches | 66 to 130 pounds |
| 14 | 59 to 67.5 inches | 84 to 160 pounds |
| 16 | 60 to 68 inches | 104 to 186 pounds |
What is a 12-year-old's bedtime? A 12-year-old should ideally get 9-11 hours of sleep. If your nearly teen needs to wake up at 6:30 am for school, aim for an 8:15, at latest 9 pm bedtime. Of course, the onset of puberty can affect your child's bedtime pattern and routine.
What can a 12 year old do when bored at home by yourself? ›- Boredom Jar. One creative parent told us she made a “boredom” jar for her house. ...
- Build a Fort. Who doesn't love a fort on a stormy day? ...
- Indoor Obstacle Course. ...
- Write a Letter. ...
- Sock Puppets. ...
- Dress Up. ...
- Imaginary Creatures. ...
- Tea Party.
- Make good friends.
- Accept other people.
- Be kind to others.
- Be yourself.
- Do stuff that you like to do.
- Try new things.
- Have a lot of fun.
- Try hard in school.
What is the social development of 5 12 years old? ›
Understand more about their place in the world and within interpersonal relationships. Pays more attention to friendships and teams. Wants to be liked and accepted by friends. Shows rapid development of mental skills.
Which of the following developmental stages includes the ages 6 to 12? ›Middle childhood is a stage where children move into expanding roles and environments. Children begin to spend more time away from their family and spend more time in school and other activities. As they experience more of the world around them, children begin to develop their own identity.
What refers to 6 to 10 or 12 years of life? ›Children between the ages of 6 and 12 are in the age period commonly referred to as middle childhood.
What is the physical development of a 10 12 year old? ›Have increased coordination and strength • Are developing body proportions similar to those of an adult • May begin puberty—evident sexual development, voice changes, and increased body odor are common.
Can a 12 year old make their own decisions? ›“In some instances, kids 12 and above are developmentally ready to make their own medical decisions, like for vaccines or receiving recommended healthcare treatments where there are harmful consequences if they do not receive them,” she told Healthline.
What cognitive development that is seen between the ages of 7 to 12 years old? ›Older children have keener metacognition, a sense of their own inner world. These children become increasingly skilled at problem solving. Piaget referred to the cognitive development occurring between ages 7 and 11 as the concrete operations stage.
How many friends should a 12 year old have? ›Rooney advises keeping things in perspective. “Kids need just one or two good friends. You don't have to worry about them being the most popular kid in their class.”
What should I say for my 12th birthday? ›- My little penguin, today you're becoming so big!
- 12 years old, 12 candles, 12 reasons to wash the dishes!
- Happy birthday Jose!
- So lucky to have you in my life.
- You are the child every parent dreams of.
What is a Golden Birthday? Your golden birthday is when the date of your birth coincides with your age. For example, if you were born on October 8, your golden birthday took place when you turned 8. If you were born on December 21, your golden birthday took place when you turned 21.
What is the language development of a 12 year old? ›By 12 years
Children will have a less literal understanding of language and understand idioms, basic sarcasm and jokes. Children should also be able to do the following: Will start to understand sarcasm when it is most obvious.
What skills the child will develop from ages 13 18? ›
Young people should be able to do: Follow complex spoken instructions containing a large amount of information, new vocabulary and complex grammar. Have an understanding of common simple sayings in context. Acknowledge and have understanding of another's point of view even if it is conflicting or different to their own ...
What is the stage from 5 to 12 years called? ›From starting school to entering puberty, age five to 12 is a time of great progress and development for your child. While the changes may be more gradual, your child's thinking, emotions and body will continue to develop.
Why is my 12 year old son always angry? ›A lot of anger in children is usually a sign that they are frustrated or in distress. It's important to identify the source. There can be many underlying causes, including autism, ADHD, anxiety, or learning disorders.
What is the most difficult age for a boy? ›In fact, age 8 is so tough that the majority of the 2,000 parents who responded to the 2020 survey agreed that it was the hardest year, while age 6 was better than expected and age 7 produced the most intense tantrums.
Why is my 12 year old son so negative? ›As strange as it sounds, negativity and complaining are ways your child manages their anxiety. When your child complains, they feel better because they're expressing themselves and venting their worries and fears. If you don't react to it from your own anxiety, your child will eventually move on.
What is the developmental stage of children from 12 to 19 years called? ›The development of children ages 12 through 18 years old should include expected physical and mental milestones.
What are the characteristics of late childhood 9 12 years old? ›Ans: The age between 9 to 12 is the ideal age of late childhood. Ans :There are so many characteristics of late childhood. Such as Slow rate of physical growth, good capacity of learning, interest in playing, interest in different fields, development in creativity, time to make themselves socialise, etc.
What developmental stage is a 11 year old? ›The ages 11 through 14 years are often referred to as early adolescence. These years are an exciting time of many varied and rapid changes. Your child grows taller and stronger and also starts to feel and think in more mature ways. You may feel amazed as you watch your child begin to turn into an adult.
What are the 5 changes during adolescence? ›These include voice changes, body shape, pubic hair distribution, and facial hair. Here's a quick look at the changes that happen: Boys. In boys, the first puberty change is the enlargement of the scrotum and testes.
What is the emotional development of 11 12 year olds? ›Children at this stage have entered a highly emotional space. They are just beginning to cope with hormonal changes. They're also hitting a time when peers will have the most influence on them. They want to be poised and have self-control, but they are often clumsy and in conflict.
What are the milestones of adolescence? ›
- Have more interest in romantic relationships and sexuality.
- Go through less conflict with parents.
- Show more independence from parents.
- Have a deeper capacity for caring and sharing and for developing more intimate relationships.
- Spend less time with parents and more time with friends.
Young toddlers are starting to develop a sense of self-awareness—that they are separate and independent from others. Loving relationships give young children a sense of comfort, safety, confidence, and encouragement.
What is normal 12 year old behavior? ›“[They will begin] exploring topics of interest more in-depth [and have] a more heightened level of self-consciousness, becoming more independent and seeking their own solutions rather than asking adult assistance,” says Dr.
What stage of life is 12 years old? ›Early Adolescence (Ages 10 to 13)
They usually start a year or two earlier in girls than boys, and it can be normal for some changes to start as early as age 8 for females and age 9 for males. Many girls may start their period at around age 12, on average 2-3 years after the onset of breast development.
Typical Cognitive Changes During Adolescence. During adolescence (between 12 and 18 years of age), the developing teenager gains the ability to think systematically about all logical relationships within a problem. The transition from concrete thinking to formal logical operations happens over time.
How do I know if my 12 year old is gifted? ›Signs of Giftedness in Children Include:
an insatiable curiosity, as demonstrated by endless questions and inquiries. ability to comprehend material several grade levels above their age peers. surprising emotional depth and sensitivity at a young age. enthusiastic about unique interests and topics.
What is a 12-year-old's bedtime? A 12-year-old should ideally get 9-11 hours of sleep. If your nearly teen needs to wake up at 6:30 am for school, aim for an 8:15, at latest 9 pm bedtime. Of course, the onset of puberty can affect your child's bedtime pattern and routine.
What is the average what for a 12 year old? ›| Age | Height - Females | Weight - Males |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | 50 to 59 inches | 54 to 102 pounds |
| 12 | 55 to 64 inches | 66 to 130 pounds |
| 14 | 59 to 67.5 inches | 84 to 160 pounds |
| 16 | 60 to 68 inches | 104 to 186 pounds |
Although there are no standard IQ levels of intellectual giftedness, some experts suggest the following IQ ranges: Mildly gifted: 115 to 129. Moderately gifted: 130 to 144. ighly gifted: 145 to 159.
How do you know if a child is intelligent? ›- Intense need for mental stimulation and engagement.
- Ability to learn new topics quickly.
- Ability to process new and complex information rapidly.
- Desire to explore specific topics in great depth.
- Insatiable curiosity, often demonstrated by many questions.
How do I test my child for intelligence? ›
Local School or Education Department
Your school may be the first place you want to look for a gifted evaluation and may even have gifted identification practices in place already. A school may also be an affordable option if parents are hoping to screen their child for additional concerns, such as ADHD.
So when a child talks about being tired or shows obvious signs of fatigue, like lying down to rest in the middle of the day, for example, that should be taken seriously. It may point to an underlying medical condition that needs evaluation. A variety of illnesses can cause a child to be tired.
Is it OK to go to bed late at 12? ›School-age children should go to bed between 8:00 and 9:00 p.m. Teens should try to go to bed between 9:00 and 10:00 p.m. Adults should try to go to sleep between 10:00 and 11:00 p.m.
Is a 12 year old considered a child? ›The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child defines child as, "A human being below the age of 18 years unless under the law applicable to the child, majority is attained earlier.” This is ratified by 192 of 194 member countries.
What happens at a 12 year old physical? ›The doctor or nurse will also check your child's body.
Measure height and weight and figure out your child's body mass index (BMI) Check your child's blood pressure. Check your child's vision and hearing. Check your child's body parts (this is called a physical exam)
Children in this age group might:
Focus on themselves; going back and forth between high expectations and lack of confidence. Experience more moodiness. Show more interest in and influence by peer group. Be less affectionate toward parents; sometimes might seem rude or short-tempered.
The CDC also reports that a 12-year-old girl's weight is usually between 68 and 135 pounds, and the 50th percentile weight for girls is 92 pounds. If your child is in the 50th percentile for weight, it means that out of 100 children their age, 50 may weigh more than they do and the other 50 may weigh less.
What is normal for a 12 year old boy? ›Your 12-year-old boy will develop an increasing ability to use logic. He can handle more complex thinking now. His communication skills improve, which you can notice more when he communicates with others. He begins questioning things such as family values and can tell the difference between right and wrong.